Not all of us learned that balanced, mindful and healthy self-love while growing up. It depends in what culture, what country, what environment a person grew up. Our generation was often told that we have to put other peoples needs before our own needs. And it was "not polite" to ask for what you wanted in some situations. That is why for many of our generation, there was a feeling of guilt and shame as soon as you thought about loving yourself and talking about your own needs. We were taught that the one who is the most selfless is also the best and the nicest person in the village. For many people, this created that well-known everybody's darling symptoms, those who try to please others too much.
Yes, there is a way out of that old limiting belief about what self-love is. Self-love is also about having a positive self-image, where you are very conscious that you and your needs are equally important than those of people around you. Not more or less, just equal, the same. It is about communicating healthy boundaries, when others abuse of your kindness and maybe lack of respect. That kind of self-love is where you stand up for yourself in a conscious way. All of this has nothing to do with narcissism, but is about a healthy and balanced feeling of self-worth.
People then ask how they can learn that self-love. Sure, there are many ways. Self-love comes from that inner relationship you have with your own Divine Self, where you feel love for your Soul, your Divine Self. That is the practice of real self-love: nurturing this precious relationship with your own eternal Self, that bigger part of who you really are (and with this, your Divine Source).
The relationships you have with other people are never a substitute for your relationship with your Self. It is about taking full responsibility for your own feelings. You will feel less needy as soon as you have reached this. That is why it is so healing to take the time to get to know your own Divine Self: you then develop and discover real self-love.
Here the good news in all that: Your Divine Soul always loves You. It is there all the time, patiently waiting for You to connect with it. The more often you do that, in your meditation, the more of its Love (the essence of who you are) will flow into your heart, into your being, into your daily life. Allow yourself to receive that Love, it is yours. You see, that sacred relationship with your higher Divine Self works both ways: the more you connect with it and send it your love and appreciation, the more Love and Light you receive in return. This is self-love.
Self-love is about loving yourself unconditionally. You don't love yourself when you are judging yourself, criticizing yourself for any kind of mistakes. Be kind to yourself, always.
Self-love is about having real compassion and patience for yourself and your own unique path. That's why real Self-love is about learning to feel good about yourself for where you are in your life today, and loving your human self.
Self-love is also about taking the time to heal yourself. One big part of that is about healing your inner child, you can see an article and guided meditation I wrote about that here in this article.
Self-love gets easier if you do it in a daily practice, by taking time for yourself, best in a mindful meditation. Spending a little bit of time alone is so important for your inner relationship with your Self, because it is in those moments that you can best connect with your own Divine Self.
The more balanced your self-love is, the better you'll feel about yourself. This is what creates a healthy feeling of worthiness.
More to follow soon.
with Love and Light,