First, let us address one point: a person who has inner harmony, who has emotional stability and maturity is rarely going to reject you. Such a person will always speak with you with loving kindness and respect. Every person who has inner peace and a certain emotional awareness will naturally be able to treat others with respect and mindfulness. Those who love themselves and who accept themselves, they are able to accept you just the way you are.
Therefore, if you feel inner peace with yourself, if you feel balanced and love yourself, it is easy for you to be kind and compassionate with others around you. As I feel inner peace and love with myself, I can share this with you too.
This leads you directly to the understanding that if a person is not able to treat others with true respect, they are experiencing inner conflicts with themselves in that moment. We rarely know the truth about the grief, the fears, the sorrows, the pains, the despair a person carries in the heart - until they talk with us. They may need our compassion more than anything else.
Inner conflicts can be the result of old emotional wounds. Often, the person who does reject others has experienced emotional wounds, painful rejections or maybe even worse. Their behavior shows that they feel overwhelmed and are dealing with inner emotional pain. Yes, they would need the help of a therapist and the support from friends. But for many people, in the beginning, it is very difficult to ask for help, often because they feel too ashamed.
One thing we can see here: people who are not able to be kind, they often have an inner aspect that obviously does need healing and love. For some reasons, they feel insecure and believe that they are not good enough. Even a person with a narcissist behavior is maybe covering up emotional pain, grief or a post-traumatic stress disorder from painful childhood experiences. One way or the other, there was something that made that person feel very bad about himself, and deeply hurt him. And all this really needs support, healing and compassion.
Especially situations from childhood can leave painful scars. Many people feel too much shame to talk about those things. And it is often extremely difficult for them to ask for help. Unfortunately, the fact that they repress those old wounds only makes them suffer longer in time. The sooner one gets help from a therapist, the sooner he/she can find real healing and inner peace.
The more a person feels ashamed for what he/she experienced and feels, the more they feel unworthy and often experience a lack of self-esteem. To compensate this, they then talk and act in weird ways. Or they develop all kind of strategies to make sure that others do like them. But inside their hearts, they still don't feel good about themselves, they feel inadequate.
Because of the shame, the guilt and the insecurity they feel, they can't believe that others could actually accept and love them. That is why they will often reject others - but in truth they are protecting themselves. It's good if you can find a way to help them to feel good about themselves; let them know that they are truly worthy the way they are.
People who are living with old unhealed emotional wounds (or post-traumatic stress disorder) feel shame and repress their own emotional pain, but would need support to heal it. They don't want you to get close to them, because they don't want you to see what they feel so ashamed about.
By keeping up those walls around them, they unconsciously protect themselves from getting hurt again. It is like a self-protection mechanism. They stay distant from others, because it helps them to feel safe. And therefore, they will often push you away. They don't feel lovable or worthy, therefore, all kind of relationships are somehow difficult for them in the beginning.
People who were not yet able to heal past traumas or emotional wounds, often have a negative self-image that does not reflect their true good Self. They somehow first have to learn again to be in alignment with themselves. Once this is established, they are able to live their true beautiful potentials and talents again.
This is why they maybe even reject you, no matter how much you love them. You see, it is not about you. It is about their inner wounds, their repressed inner pain that needs healing first.
Once they are able to accept the help for their inner healing, once they were able to do their own inner healing work, things will change. Many of us have been through those steps: we all had to lay aside our feelings of shame and guilt. We had to heal our inner child, traumas and our wounded aspects. Most of us had to learn how to love ourselves, how to love our weaknesses.
We all went through those times of inner healing, and we all continue to learn and heal.
Be patient. Have compassion with yourself, have compassion with others.
With Love and Light for You,
Read this article to understand more about post traumatic stress disorder here: