Why do people always talk about "the right one"? Living together in a relationship actually is a conscious choice that two grown up and mature beings make together: they set the intent and make the clear choice to live together, to be lifepartners. They create together, as a co-creation, the experience for a long term love relationship and then they live what they have chosen to share. It is a choice we make, something we consciously choose to do. Many people are still outside of this awareness and walk through live half-hearted, and say that they hoping for "the right one". But a real relationship can be so much more...
We do not need to learn how to attract a soulmate. It really happens naturally, when we are ready to learn the truth our Soul wishes us to discover. Yes, he/she obviously is the right one: to help you heal, to help you grow and to step into your own personal power. A soulmate is not a person who arrives on a white horse to bring you in a castle above the clouds, where everything is pastel colors in fairy tales pictures, only to feed the needs of the ego. That is not reality. As long as people project their emotional needs on each other and expect the partner to act in a certain way, real love is not possible.
There is a misunderstanding about the idea of soulmates. Once you are on the path of awakening, the goal of YOUR Soul is to set you free from all negative beliefs about yourself, all the wrong ideas you still carry with you. Your goal is to be free from your old unhealed wounds. Your Soul wants to connect and merge with you, but it can only do this if you have cleaned out the old illusions and emotional baggage that are still in your energy field.
Maybe you hear people say that relationships with soulmates can be more challenging in the beginning. In some situations, this is true. It depends where on the path of awakening a person is. It depends how much of the old energies have already been released; and how much one is already in alignment with his Divine Self.
As long as you walk around with the heart closed, these old wounds, old pains, old fears and old aspects remain well hidden. They hinder you to live your full potentials. You distract yourself with entertainment, food or other ego-things, and make sure you do not get one quiet moment in your daily lives; because the moment you would sit still for more than 20 minutes and allow yourself to feel what you really feel, for sure then you would FEEL all the old repressed emotions.
To help you grow, your Soul will no longer draw to you partners who feed your ego, or who keep you in old illusions where you can continue to avoid your unhealed wounds. To help you heal, your Soul brings to you now people and situations that help you really heal yourself. This can be a new friend, a new co-worker, and of course a new life-partner.
This is where the soulmate really enters in: one of their roles in your life is to help you to free yourself from all the old pains, so that you can truly step into your power, heal and wake up, move forward on your path to real freedom. Because your real wish is living in the Oneness with your Divine Soul.
This is why a soulmate will not spoil your ego and protect you from feeling certain things. He/she will bring to surface all the illusions of your ego, all the games your ego wants to play, and break through the walls of self-protections around your heart.
A soulmate therefore will sometimes show you the negative beliefs you entertain about yourself and your life, so that you can easier clean out those illusions that no longer serve you. A soulmate is not going to feed your ego; because you wish to learn to truly love yourself in an unconditional way. Instead, one will maybe trigger old topics, so that they can now come to surface and being healed.
It is not only the other who is a mirror for you. You are in that same way a mirror for the other person too. You are soulmates to each other and meet to help each other heal the rest of what still needs to be healed. This is never a monolog where only one of the two partners goes through these processes. Treat each other with respect always, with loving kindness and compassion, and always with patience truly.
All these things do work for both partners: if one is that kind of soulmate for you, the other also is being shown his/her weaknesses and unhealed themes. This is only possible when one can truly open the heart, allows to fall in love with the other and allows to feel vulnerable. Do this together in a loving and safe space.
Truly open your heart and falling in love with a soulmate will show you where you still entertain lack of self-worth, lack of self-esteem and lack of self-love. It brings to surface all the hidden belief systems you entertain about love, about partnership and similar themes. Some of them,
the ego may not want to give them up.
A soulmate does not make you feel secure, but will gently help you to learn to feel secure and good about yourself. And when your soulmate triggers these weaknesses in you, for sure it gets temporarily uncomfortable, but this is for the healing. At this point, it is important not to project the old themes on to the other, but using the chance for doing the conscious healing work that needs to be done.
Understand this: How can a person learn to take the full responsibility for his/her feelings and learn to love himself and find its own strength within, as long as we continue playing the role of the emotional security net to him/her?
From a higher perspective, one of the gifts of love we can do for others is to stop playing the role of that emotional safety net and stop trying to over-protect those we love. Fact is that as long as we try to over protect those we love, we somehow hinder them to grow - it does not serve them.
Instead of protecting them too much, we can allow those we love to feel their unhealed wounds, so that they can become free and move forward. If there we can lovingly step aside, allowing the other person to face their weakness, their shadows and their own repressed emotional pains, we give them a real chance to grow.
As soulmates, you are also helping each other to discover what has been holding you back on your path to freedom, harmony, love and maturity. After this has been done, more love can flow freely into your life...
The gift of the soulmate is to bring to surface your feelings of insecurity and the old aspects who need to be brought into the light. That is cleaning out the old energies. In those moments it is important not to judge, not to project or criticize, because this could mess up the purpose of the relationship. In those moments, take the time to sit in meditation and go within, and there do the cleaning and healing work that your Soul is guiding you to do.
Trust. Allow. Love.
This is why sometimes you hear people say that relationships with soulmates can be more challenging in the beginning. But rest assured that AFTER this phase of releasing old energies, it gets easier and you both then share the beauty of your love in a truly fulfilling way.
There is a beautiful potential for deep healing in those relationships.
Such a soulmate doesn't always have to be a life partner. This healing can
also be shared and experienced within beautiful friendships.
Divine Blessings to You,
Jeanne Jessica A.