In this article, I'm going to list a few points that are the roots of emotional suffering and many heartaches people experience. This may help you to let go and make peace with the pain you've experienced on your path of life. I will only mention each topic shortly and not go too much into details.
Attachments
People get attached to each other. The stronger the attachment, the greater the suffering when one leaves for whatever reasons. Of course it is normal to get attached to the one we love. But there is a big difference between needing someone because we love that person, and loving a person because they fulfill our needs. If we truly love another being in an unconditional way, we sometimes have to let go. To love also means to respect and accept their choices.
Co-dependency
Love is often mixed up with different forms of co-dependency, and this is where drama and emotional pain begin. If one depends on the approval, attention and love of another person, than this is not love. It is the ego that believes it depends on others for emotional survival. But you can change this if you like: The more you connect again with your own inner Divine Self, the less you depend on others. You can access to your own source of love within your heart.
Expectations & Projections
Some people love others only because they expect them to fulfill their emotional needs. This is not very loving, it is even selfish. To project unfulfilled needs on others is the end of all love relationships. Some partners have an agreement where both accept to fulfill each others emotional needs. But the moment one partner decides to no longer play that role, that relationship is soon over. Relationships where people use each other in these ways for egoistical goals are rarely based on true appreciation. You want to feel that you are loved for who you are, not for what you do.
Often, unfulfilled needs feel very painful and difficult: this is because they are connected to old emotional wounds. The sooner you heal them, the better and more balanced you'll feel.
Expecting others to fulfill your emotional needs will never work in long term. A true love relationship between two emotionally mature people is free of those kind of expectations. Yes, you do share love with your partner - but that love is unconditional, it is the love that you first find and nourish within your own heart, in your loving relationship with yourself.
Blame games
When one makes another person too often responsible for the way he feels, that is sometimes a sort of manipulation. This is far away from what is known as real emotional maturity. It is normal to express your feelings and say what you wish to share. But never with the intention to make others feel more guilty than necessary. If you wish your relationship to last, it is necessary to be self-responsible and self-reliable about all your emotional needs. You are worthy and you do deserve love: this demands your own love for yourself too.
Boundaries
All relationships need healthy boundaries. Being mindful about each others boundaries is a sign of respect. Find out where you wish to set your boundaries. If you don't, you'll soon hear yourself say that others don't respect you; communicate with clarity where your own boundaries are.
Of course you make sure you treat others the best you can and care for them. But do not allow them to abuse of your kindness.
Emotional unavailable people and narcissism
The more you love yourself truly, the less you'll attract narcissistic people. They feel a lot more attracted to people with lower self-esteem. A narcissistic person rarely hangs around with people who refuse to feed his ego. But if you feel sad because the person you love is always emotionally unavailable for you, then you need to find out why you waste your time waiting for that kind of person to see and appreciate your value.
One solution and a key to healing: Self-Love
It will be difficult for others to love you, if you do not feel good about yourself first. Unconditional self-love is always the basic of all your relationships with others. Self-love is when you're aware and conscious of your true eternal Divine Self. As you are in alignment with who you really are, that eternal Divine Self which is you, you'll feel love in an unconditional way. Self-love is your natural state of being, because Love is part of the essence of who you are...
Please fill free to write me if you wish some help with one of these topics.
With Love & Light,
Jeanne
Attachments
People get attached to each other. The stronger the attachment, the greater the suffering when one leaves for whatever reasons. Of course it is normal to get attached to the one we love. But there is a big difference between needing someone because we love that person, and loving a person because they fulfill our needs. If we truly love another being in an unconditional way, we sometimes have to let go. To love also means to respect and accept their choices.
Co-dependency
Love is often mixed up with different forms of co-dependency, and this is where drama and emotional pain begin. If one depends on the approval, attention and love of another person, than this is not love. It is the ego that believes it depends on others for emotional survival. But you can change this if you like: The more you connect again with your own inner Divine Self, the less you depend on others. You can access to your own source of love within your heart.
Expectations & Projections
Some people love others only because they expect them to fulfill their emotional needs. This is not very loving, it is even selfish. To project unfulfilled needs on others is the end of all love relationships. Some partners have an agreement where both accept to fulfill each others emotional needs. But the moment one partner decides to no longer play that role, that relationship is soon over. Relationships where people use each other in these ways for egoistical goals are rarely based on true appreciation. You want to feel that you are loved for who you are, not for what you do.
Often, unfulfilled needs feel very painful and difficult: this is because they are connected to old emotional wounds. The sooner you heal them, the better and more balanced you'll feel.
Expecting others to fulfill your emotional needs will never work in long term. A true love relationship between two emotionally mature people is free of those kind of expectations. Yes, you do share love with your partner - but that love is unconditional, it is the love that you first find and nourish within your own heart, in your loving relationship with yourself.
Blame games
When one makes another person too often responsible for the way he feels, that is sometimes a sort of manipulation. This is far away from what is known as real emotional maturity. It is normal to express your feelings and say what you wish to share. But never with the intention to make others feel more guilty than necessary. If you wish your relationship to last, it is necessary to be self-responsible and self-reliable about all your emotional needs. You are worthy and you do deserve love: this demands your own love for yourself too.
Boundaries
All relationships need healthy boundaries. Being mindful about each others boundaries is a sign of respect. Find out where you wish to set your boundaries. If you don't, you'll soon hear yourself say that others don't respect you; communicate with clarity where your own boundaries are.
Of course you make sure you treat others the best you can and care for them. But do not allow them to abuse of your kindness.
Emotional unavailable people and narcissism
The more you love yourself truly, the less you'll attract narcissistic people. They feel a lot more attracted to people with lower self-esteem. A narcissistic person rarely hangs around with people who refuse to feed his ego. But if you feel sad because the person you love is always emotionally unavailable for you, then you need to find out why you waste your time waiting for that kind of person to see and appreciate your value.
One solution and a key to healing: Self-Love
It will be difficult for others to love you, if you do not feel good about yourself first. Unconditional self-love is always the basic of all your relationships with others. Self-love is when you're aware and conscious of your true eternal Divine Self. As you are in alignment with who you really are, that eternal Divine Self which is you, you'll feel love in an unconditional way. Self-love is your natural state of being, because Love is part of the essence of who you are...
Please fill free to write me if you wish some help with one of these topics.
With Love & Light,
Jeanne
RSS Feed