First, let us adress one point: a person who has inner harmony, who has emotional stability and maturity is rarely going to reject you. Such a person will always speak with you with loving kindness and respect. Therefore, a person who has inner peace and a certain emotional awareness will naturally be able to treat others with same peace and mindfulness. Those who love themselves, who accept themselves, they will easily be able to accept you just the way you are.
Therefore, if you feel inner peace with yourself, if you feel balanced and love yourself, it is easy for you to be kind and compassionate with others around you. As I feel inner peace and love with myself, I can share this with you too.
This leads you directly to the understanding that if a person is not able to treat others with respect, they are experiencing inner conflicts with themselves in that moment. We rarely know the truth about the grief, the fears, the sorrows, the pains, the despair a person carries in the heart - until they talk with us. They need our compassion more than anything else.
Inner conflicts can be the result of those old emotional wounds. Chances are very high that the person who does reject others has experienced emotional wounds, painful rejections or maybe even trauma in life. Their behavior shows that they do feel overwhelmed and are experiencing old inner emotional pains. Yes, they would need the help of a therapist and the support from friends. But for many people, in the beginning it is very difficult to ask for help, because they feel too ashamed.
One thing we can see here: people who are not able to be kind, they often have an inner child that obviously does need healing and love. For some reasons, they feel insecure and believe that they are not good enough. Even a person with a narcissist behavior is maybe covering up emotional pain, grief, or a post traumatic stress disorder from painful childhood experiences. One way or the other, there was something that made that person feel very bad about himself/herself, and deeply hurt him/her. And all this really needs support, healing and compassion.
Especially situations from childhood can leave painful scars; many people feel too much shame to talk about those things, it is often extremely difficult for them to ask for help. Unfortunately, the fact that they repress those old wounds only makes them suffer longer in time. The sooner one gets help from a therapist, the sooner he/she can find healing and inner peace.
The more a person feels ashamed for what he/she experienced and feels, the more they feel unworthy and often experience a lack of self-esteem. To compensate this, they then will act in weird ways. Or they will develop all kind of strategies to make sure that others do like them. But inside their hearts, they still do not feel good about themselves, they feel inadequate.
Because of the shame, the guilt and the unworthiness they feel, they can't believe that others could love them. That is why they will often reject others - but in truth they are protecting themselves. It's good if you can find a way to help them to feel good about themselves; let them know that they are truly ok the way they are.
They feel shame and repress their own emotional pain, but would need to heal it. They do not want you to get close to them, because they do not want you to see what they feel ashamed about. And therefore, they will push you away. They do not feel lovable, therefore they do not love themselves - and that's why they can't love you.
And that's why they will maybe even reject you, no matter how much you love them. You see, it is not about you. It is about their inner wounds, their repressed inner pain that needs healing first.
Once they are able to accept the help for their inner healing, once they were able to do their own inner healing work, things can change. We all have been through those steps: we all had to lay aside our feelings of shame and guilt, we all had to heal our inner child, our wounded aspects.
We all had to learn how to love ourselves, how to love our weaknesses. We all went through those times of inner healing, and we all do continue to learn and heal. Be patient. Have compassion with yourself, have compassion with others.
With Love and Light for You,
Read this article to understand more about post traumatic stress disorder here: